Blog | Sytsema Funeral & Cremation Services

What is the difference between a Funeral Director, Mortician, Undertaker, and Embalmer? What do they do? What skills are needed to become a Funeral Director. Who is the Funeral Director?

The terms funeral director, undertaker, and mortician are used interchangeably to describe a professional engaged in the business of funeral rites. Regional tradition dictates which title you hear used most often where you live.

Tasks involved in the performance of funeral rites may include embalming, burial or cremation of the dead, as well as the arrangements for funeral ceremony. Embalming is a separate skill which may require a separate license depending on individual state regulations. Embalming is the art and science of preserving human remains by treating them in order to slow down decomposition. Embalming is usually done to make the deceased suitable for public or private viewing as part of the funeral ceremony.

Licensing requirements for funeral directors, morticians, or undertakers vary from state to state. Most states have educational requirements which include a period of apprenticeship. In some states funeral directors are required to hold both a license for embalming and funeral directing. In other parts of the country the two roles are licensed and performed separately.

Skills that are identified as desirable in a funeral director include a knowledge of science and mathematics. However, the skills that make the top of the list may surprise the reader. They are complex problem solving, followed by having a service orientation, social perceptiveness, good speaking and writing skills and excellent active listening skills. If you take a moment to consider what a funeral director must do to put together a funeral service that meets the expectations of a variety of family members, those skills fall into place. It’s easy to see why the “soft skills” appear at the top of the list for attributes of a successful funeral director.

So, who is the funeral director? According to data USA 69.1% of funeral directors are male. Of morticians, undertakers, & funeral directors, 77.6% are white (non-Hispanic), making that the most common race or ethnicity in the occupation. Representing 10.3% of morticians, undertakers & funeral directors, black (non-Hispanic) is the second most common race or ethnicity in this occupation. However, the face of the funeral director is changing. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, women are the fastest growing group in funeral service. Today, women comprise approximately 57% of mortuary school students. This once male-dominated industry is changing.

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Celebrity Funerals and Ceremonies

On February 24^th, twenty thousand mourners filled downtown Los Angeles’ Staples Center — “the house that Kobe built” — to celebrate the lives of the 41-year-old Lakers star and his 13-year-old daughter, who were killed alongside seven others in the crash in Calabasas. With tears streaming down his face, Michael Jorden spoke about his “big brother” mentoring relationship with Kobe. Beyoncè sang KO, one of Kobe’s favorites, and his wife Vanessa bravely spoke about her daughter, her husband, and her loss.

Kobe’s life is not the first to be celebrated in a large public way. Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, and John McCain all had funeral services that were shared with large groups of their fans or followers. These very large and very public funerals acknowledge the family’s loss is our loss too. They help the community heal.

We may not have ever had a face to face conversation or sat down to break bread with any of these people, but we loved them. Kobe was a master of his game and it was pure joy to watch him play. He went well beyond just playing basketball and shared his love of the game and impact it had on his life with a whole new generation in his books and his movie. He was larger than life.

His wife and family’s kindness in sharing their celebration of his life, and that of his daughter, with his fans is beautiful. It will help all of us heal. We can only hope knowing this, we were there witnessing tributes to a man who was admired, respected, and loved by so many. Hopefully the healing began then.

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Cremation Near Me

When looking for a cremation service close to home, your first call should be to your local funeral home. The people there, who are a part of your community, know all about cremation. The funeral home will either provide cremation at their facility or will have extensive experience with local crematories. Either way, you can rest assured the cremation of your loved one will be carried out with the proper care and respect.

Funeral homes provide a full menu of services. You choose. Use only what suits your family. Cremation providers, on the other hand, tend to offer cremation of the body only. Often no care is offered for the mourners. There is no help or guidance should the family like to have an opportunity to host friends who share the loss or to celebrate the life that was lived. Your local funeral home can help you put together a very small service or a very large service depending on the needs of your family.

Disposition of the body is only one aspect of what needs to be done when someone dies. Cremation is not the end. Cremated remains will either need to be buried, scattered or retained for generations by a family member. Very often cremation only providers will return the cremated remains of your family member by mail in a bag or box. The funeral home on the other hand will provide help and guidance regarding legal scattering, products that support family retention of cremains, or burial and retention in a columbarium niche.

When your brain is fuzzy because you have lost someone dear to you, clarity is important. The last thing a family needs are hidden costs and surprises. The widely advertised prices for bare bones cremation frequently do not include everything you need and certainly do not include what you may want. When those items are added to the cost many people have found they are spending more than what they would have had they engaged the services of the local funeral home.

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The Best Insurance Purchase You Will Ever Make

We all have our love/hate relationship with insurance. Typically, we pay and pay and then we pray we don’t ever need to file a claim. No one wants to have their house burn down or blow away. But, it is also hard to write that check every month. Most folks do so because they are afraid not to.

However, there is one kind of insurance you will absolutely use. You’ll get more than you paid in, and you don’t have to pay endlessly.

Funeral insurance, not to be confused with final expense insurance, is the rare insurance product designed to cover a cost that you absolutely will incur. We all die in the end. So, how does it work?

Funeral insurance is sold through your funeral home. The amount of the insurance matches the cost of your funeral in today’s dollars. It can be paid in one payment and you are done. Or, you can pay over three to 20 years and be covered for the whole cost of your funeral while you pay.

It’s easy to find out more. Just call the funeral home and ask to speak to someone in the advance planning department. You will want to set aside one to two hours for your meeting with the advance planner. You will have questions. Remember to ask how funeral insurance is different from final expense insurance.

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Procrastination and Funeral Planning

Another year over and you made it through without getting that funeral plan completed. But there it is, still on your to do list. How many years have you been thinking about getting this done? If you are a procrastinator this is the one you can put off until the very end. Then it will become a job for someone else.

Still, if it is on your list there must be a reason. Perhaps you want to be the one who decides what is done and how much is spent on your last good-bye. Maybe you were the one who had to take care of a parent’s funeral and you do not want to leave yours to your children. You had a reason. What was it?

Why do we put things off? What’s the benefit of procrastination? What’s the harm?

We are naturally conditioned to avoid unpleasant tasks. It is estimated that 10 to 20% of people put off regular dental visits. Why? Not because the results are good, that is for sure. People procrastinate because they are scared. They fear the dentist. And how does that work out? When they finally see the dentist, it is because they are in pain. It is an emergency. Avoiding the regular checkup, procrastinating, does not help. It makes the dental experience more painful and even more expensive. No benefit at all. Putting off funeral planning is a lot like putting off seeing the dentist, nothing good comes from procrastination.

Funeral Planning will not kill you. You will have to acknowledge your mortality, but then you do know you will die one day, don’t you? So, what are you waiting for? Do you think planning will be easier if you wait until you are ill? No, of course it will not be easier if you are sick.

Actually, the longer a person waits to get a plan in place the fewer payment options they will be able to take advantage of and the costs increase. A younger person can plan, and if they choose to, purchase insurance for their plan so when they die the insurance company will cover the funeral cost. Coverage like that does not get cheaper as we age, it is the other way around. Funeral costs, like most costs, have historically increased over time. There is no point waiting. The cost will not go down.

Experience tells us people who complete a plan feel good and are pleasantly surprised at how easy it was. On average it takes about two hours to complete a funeral plan. You will most likely be able to choose to have a planner come to your home if you don’t want to go to the funeral home. Planning your funeral is not difficult. Just call the funeral home and set up a time. Do not wait. 2021 will be over sooner than you think.