Category: Funeral Home

Do I Need a “Final Resting Place”?

Let’s face it everyone will have one, a final resting place that is. The questions you should be asking are where is it? Can it be found in the future should a family member want to do so? Is the final resting place protected? Is it hallowed ground? Will the place endure?

Most of us know exactly where our great grandparents are “resting”. It’s in a cemetery somewhere. Even when the grave is half a continent away and we never get there to put flowers on the grave, we know where they are. Will our grandchildren know where we rest?

For those who would like to be buried in a cemetery

  • Fear not. There are spaces available check with your funeral director for advice about where to look.
  • Worried about the environment? Again, ask your funeral director about green and greenish burial options.
  • Concerned about cost? Consider the resale market. Many family’s plans change. Families resell cemetery plots they will not use at a lower cost.

For those who plan to donate their body to science

  • Know that in most cases the cremated remains will be returned to the family at some point and will require a plan for the final resting place.
  • Always have a back-up plan just in case the body is not accepted for donation.
  • Talk to your funeral director about how to put together a memorial service to take place right after death since it may be months or even years before ashes are returned to the family.

For those who will be cremated 

  • Consider your many options carefully. You may want to discuss them with your funeral director. There may be final resting options you are not aware of.
  • If you plan to scatter ashes, give thought to the location and how family members will be impacted if the golf course is sold and turned into a go-kart track?
  • Talk to your funeral director about keepsakes such as paperweights that incorporate some of the ashes or jewelry that can hold a small amount of cremated remains.
  • Be aware that final resting place means it must endure for generations to come. Will your children’s children still want your urn in their home?
  • Know having a viable plan for the final resting place is the most often overlooked step for those who cremate. Not addressing this issue creates a burden for someone in the family as time passes. Talk to your funeral director.

 

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How to Say the Right Thing at a Funeral

First, take a deep breath and relax. We all worry that we’ll say the wrong thing.

Second, know that you don’t have to be eloquent. While we wish it were so, you can’t make everything all better with a few words.

Here are a few simple ideas to keep in mind to be sure you say the right thing when attending a funeral.

Don’t underestimate the power of your presence.

It’s important. Just being there says more than you can know.

Keep your words simple.

“I’m sorry for your loss” may be all that is needed.

Share your story.

If you have a brief anecdote about how you interacted with the deceased, share it. Knowing how her sister lit up her workplace may just be the most comforting thing a mourner can hear.

Use deceased person’s name.

“Mary always made me laugh.” “John had the longest drive, too bad it wasn’t always straight.” “We always knew when Big Bad Byron was in the plant, everyone was on their toes.” “Nobody made better chocolate chip cookies than your mother.”

Avoid using common platitudes.

Resist the temptation to tell the bereaved how they must feel — “grateful that he is in a better place,” “relieved that his suffering is over,” “grateful for a long life,” etc.

We don’t know how that wife, husband, mother, son, or daughter actually feels. Just say you’re sorry for their loss.

Let them tell you how they feel and accept it with a nod or hug.

Don’t forget about listening. 

Listen to understand, not just to hear. Listen to show you care, not to judge. Listen with love, even when you’ve heard the story before.

What Do Funeral Directors Do?

A light on at the funeral home suggests the funeral director is working late.It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?

Today, there was a funeral. People cried. Tissues were crumpled and left on the tables.  Flower petals fell to the floor. Now, the cleaning staff is making things tidy for the family who will be here tomorrow.

It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?

Continue reading What Do Funeral Directors Do?