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A funeral offers a chance to say goodbye, but how do we say our farewells to those who forged the path of our nation? Presidential funerals have proven to be groundbreaking occasions that set the tone for how the nation grieves. Let’s take a look at how we as a country said goodbye to some of our most beloved leaders. 

Funerals of Our Presidents 

George Washington 

Our first president passed on Dec. 14, 1799, with the request that he not be buried for three days’ time. George Washington had a great fear of being buried alive, which was why he asked for the three days. During that time, he was held in a mahogany casket in Mount Vernon’s New Room.  

 

On Dec. 18, his military funeral was held in Mount Vernon and became a template for future funerals honoring military officers. As Washington was a devout member of the Anglican Church and a Freemason, both Anglican and Masonic burial services were conducted in his honor. After his pastor gave the eulogy, 11 artillery pieces on shore were fired off, answering the echo of the minute guns’ crack from a schooner on the Potomac River. He was buried in a tomb in his beloved Mount Vernon. 

 

John Adams 

Our second president passed on the 50th anniversary of the passage of the Declaration of Independence. He was entombed in Quincy, Massachusetts, on July 7, 1826. Minute guns were fired from Mount Wollaston throughout the entirety of the ceremony, with several adjoining towns joining in with ways of paying homage of their own, with bells tolling throughout Massachusetts and beyond.  

 

Thomas Jefferson 

Though Thomas Jefferson and Adams fought very publicly for a time, they rekindled their friendship in their later years. Perhaps their brotherhood is why they passed on the same day. On July 4, 1826, Jefferson passed around noon after falling into a coma the previous day. It’s said that Adams fell into unconsciousness around that time before awaking again at around 5:30 P.M. to say his final words, reportedly either “Thomas Jefferson survives” or “Thomas Jefferson still lives.” 

 

Jefferson himself had requested a simple ceremony. No invitations were sent out, though friends and visitors were welcome to go to the gravesite once he was buried. He is believed to have been buried in a simple, wooden coffin. He was laid to rest in the Monticello graveyard just one day after his death on July 5. 

 

Abraham Lincoln 

It was believed that when the 16th president was assassinated, dying on April 15, 1865, the American citizens were not yet ready to say goodbye. So, they were given a chance to. Although Mary Lincoln wanted her husband to take a direct route to where he’d be laid to rest in Springfield, Missouri, Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, convinced her to approve a path that saw him retrace the steps he took from Springfield to the nation’s capital four years earlier. The president was embalmed, a relatively new process at the time, to allow citizens to say goodbye to him in the form they remembered him in. 

 

At each stop on the railroad journey, thousands came out to see Lincoln. In fact, the trip was largely considered a unifying force for the Democrats and Republicans in the North during such a divisive time. Alongside Lincoln on his journey was the body of his 11-year-old son, Willie, who died of typhoid three years earlier. When the funeral procession ended at Oak Ridge Cemetery in Springfield and following an hour-long eulogy, both father and son were laid to rest in a limestone vault, with the doors and iron grating then shuttered. 

 

Theodore Roosevelt 

At the time of Theodore Roosevelt’s death, the then-vice president, Thomas Marshall, said, “Death had to take Roosevelt sleeping, for if he had been awake, there would have been a fight.” The 26th president, known for his strength, died on Jan. 6, 1919, in his sleep after suffering a coronary embolism, though his health had been declining for some time.  

 

Not one for grandiose affairs, a private farewell service was held at his home, Sagamore Hill, in Oyster Bay, New York. A modest funeral was then held at Christ Episcopal Church in Oyster Bay before Roosevelt was buried on a hillside on Jan. 8 in Youngs Memorial Cemetery, overlooking the town. A bugler blew Taps as family members and dignitaries walked up the snow-covered hill to the burial site. When the ceremony ended, only one person stayed behind — former President William Howard Taft, who stood by his sometimes political ally, sometimes foe’s grave weeping long after everyone else had left. 

 

Franklin Delano Roosevelt 

FDR’s health had long been declining, a secret hidden from the public, but by the time he entered his fourth term, that secret became harder to keep. FDR was getting frailer with every photograph, and he eventually passed on April 12, 1945, in Warm Springs, Georgia. The Ferdinand Magellan train brought him back to Washington on April 14, where he was then carried on a caisson from Union Station to the White House. Over 500,000 people gathered silently to watch the procession before hundreds of mourners were invited to pay their respects and see the president a final time in the White House’s East Room.  

 

Recognizing that the nation was at war and that many citizens were overseas, FDR requested a simple funeral with few formalities. Following the service, he was returned back to Union Station, where he’d begin an overnight journey to Hyde Park, New York. He was then brought to the edge of a meadow below his home, where a battalion of cadets awaited him. U.S. Army Air Force P-47s flew overhead, and once he was lowered into the ground, an honor guard of cadets fired over the grave. 

 

The funerals of presidents signal a time of a nation in mourning. Much has changed over the years from the days of Washington’s burial, and one could argue that Lincoln’s funeral truly set that tone. It became normalized for the public to be allowed a chance to say goodbye as well, whether that be through a funeral procession or a viewing. Presidential funerals are as much a chance for us all to say farewell to a fallen leader as it is for us to come together as a nation. 

 

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On February 24^th, twenty thousand mourners filled downtown Los Angeles’ Staples Center — “the house that Kobe built” — to celebrate the lives of the 41-year-old Lakers star and his 13-year-old daughter, who were killed alongside seven others in the crash in Calabasas. With tears streaming down his face, Michael Jorden spoke about his “big brother” mentoring relationship with Kobe. Beyoncè sang KO, one of Kobe’s favorites, and his wife Vanessa bravely spoke about her daughter, her husband, and her loss.

 

Kobe’s life is not the first to be celebrated in a large public way. Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, and John McCain all had funeral services that were shared with large groups of their fans or followers. These very large and very public funerals acknowledge the family’s loss is our loss too. They help the community heal.

 

We may not have ever had a face to face conversation or sat down to break bread with any of these people, but we loved them. Kobe was a master of his game and it was pure joy to watch him play. He went well beyond just playing basketball and shared his love of the game and impact it had on his life with a whole new generation in his books and his movie. He was larger than life.

 

His wife and family’s kindness in sharing their celebration of his life, and that of his daughter, with his fans is beautiful. It will help all of us heal. We can only hope knowing this, we were there witnessing tributes to a man who was admired, respected, and loved by so many. Hopefully the healing began then.

 

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When we talk about working with a funeral home to plan a loved one’s funeral, one person who plays a central role in creating an event that celebrates that loved one’s life is the funeral director. A funeral director is essentially your go-to person at the funeral home, there to provide care and support during an incredibly challenging time. They oversee and direct all funeral services, from viewings and visitations to burials and cremations. But there’s even a lot of work that funeral directors do behind the scenes that families don’t see, such as organizing transportation for your loved one to and from the funeral home, coordinating receptions, and ensuring that all necessary paperwork is filed properly and in a timely manner.

 

There’s no doubt that a funeral director plays an essential role in every funeral, but luckily, they don’t have to do it alone. Especially in larger funeral homes, there can be plenty of people to assist the funeral director and care for families during this emotional time.

 

Who works at a funeral home?

One essential part of a funeral home is an embalmer. In the United States, 50 percent of people are embalmed. Embalming is often necessary for funerals and viewings so that the loved one will look more like how families and friends remember them. Although many funeral directors are also embalmers, it’s very common for larger funeral homes to have several embalmers on staff. Not only do embalmers have to have a special license, but they also must have a degree in mortuary science and have undergone an apprenticeship under an experienced embalmer.

 

An embalmer may also work as a mortuary cosmetologist, also known as a desairologist. In this position, they work on the hair and makeup of a decedent, an essential part of preparing a loved one for their viewing or open-casket funeral. However, not all embalmers are desairologists, and it’s not uncommon for larger funeral homes to work with additional mortuary cosmetologists.

 

Although funeral directors oversee all ceremonies, those events couldn’t happen without the work of funeral attendants. Attendants work under funeral directors to ensure that everything runs smoothly so families needn’t worry and can simply grieve in peace. They assist in setting up funeral rooms, transporting caskets, and doing anything a funeral director may need of them.

 

Not every funeral home has the same type of staff, but advanced planning advisors are often a crucial part of the team. When you pre-plan your funeral, you’re reducing the stress of your family having to wonder if they’re giving you the funeral you truly want. Without pre-planning, an already difficult time becomes even more challenging. Advanced planning advisors work with people who want to save their families from that distress. When you work with an advanced planning advisor, you’re giving your family a blueprint of what you want your funeral to look like. When the time comes, the advanced planning advisor will work with the funeral director and other staff members to put that plan into action.

 

Just like a funeral home may have someone on staff to help before a funeral even needs to happen, it may also have someone who works with families after the funeral ends. Because funeral homes are such an essential part of a community, many funeral home staff members consider being an active member of their community to be part of their job description. But for some people, their job is solely about caring for the community. Some funeral homes provide aftercare, which means that staff members help families during their time of grief. Since that mourning period doesn’t end with the funeral, neither does the care these funeral homes give. These workers may be grief counselors, or they may go by a different title, but in their role, they make sure that families don’t have to go through mourning alone.

 

But many other people play essential roles in creating funerals that celebrate an individual’s life. Administrators and administrative assistants keep a funeral director on track, ensuring they have everything they need to take care of any families who come to their funeral home. They work to create a friendly but professional atmosphere, giving comfort to the families and their guests.

 

Although the funeral director may be the face that you associate with a funeral home, they’re surrounded by people who care about their community and want to be part of making a funeral a cherished event that celebrates the life of someone who meant so much to so many people. Working in a funeral home takes a kind demeanor and temperament. From administrative assistants to embalmers, funeral home staff members are unique individuals who will care for people during one of the most challenging times in their life. After years of training, these community-minded individuals love the opportunity to be of service to people in need.

 

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1. Choose a cremation provider
2. Decide on a “closing” ceremony
3. Choose a final resting place

Start with the end. Where will your cremated remains “rest”? There are three general choices and a variety of options within each choice. On average, a cremated human body will be reduced to about five pounds of coarse “ash”.
• Ashes can be kept by a family member
• Buried or permanently kept in a columbarium niche
• Scattered

Very few people really “don’t have anybody”. Friends are the family we choose and then there is the family. Most of us are deeply connected to at least one other human being. These are the people who need some time to be with others to begin to process their loss of you.
• A funeral service (with or without a religious service) can be held before the cremation takes place
• A memorial service occurs after the cremation takes place. It may or may not include a religious service.
• Either a funeral or a memorial service can be formal, informal, or very informal. Either can be held pretty much anywhere.

Funeral homes either provide cremation at the funeral home or coordinate transportation from the place of death to the cremation facility. They can also help you choose a final resting option and coordinate the closing ceremony. Most funeral homes have a person on staff who will meet with you, answer all your questions, and help determine which options work best for you and the people who are important to you. Amazingly enough this is a free service. A cremation society or direct cremation provider will take care of the cremation.
You can:
• Take advantage of your local funeral home’s planning service (no charge)
• Sign up for a cremation society and leave everything else to those who love you.

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The funeral director is often the son or daughter of a funeral director. They grew up understanding the contribution the job brings to the community. Funeral directors are helpers. It’s more than just being understanding and compassionate. Funeral directors know what to do. They can guide a family that is in disarray due to a sudden loss of a family member. They know exactly where to begin when no one in the family has any idea what to do.

For the funeral directors who did not grow up in the business, they were drawn to the profession by their own memorable experience with loss. Having been comforted and supported by a funeral service themselves, they chose to enter the profession to help others. Funeral directors are helpers.

According to the National Funeral Directors Association, 16% of their member funeral directors are women. You can expect to see that number increase as 61% of current mortuary school students are female. Some suggest the increase in women entering the profession reflects changes taking place in the funeral service itself.

The idea of celebrating the unique life of an individual who has died opens unlimited possibilities. Today’s funeral directors are increasingly involved in coordinating with clergy and a whole host of family members and others to ensure the service reflects the life of the person who died. This planning and developing a personalized service is appealing to many women.

The profession has always taken care of the deceased, lifting that burden from families.  Today’s directors still take care of the one who died, but the real emphasis is on helping the survivors begin a healthy grieving process.

Who becomes a funeral director? People who care, people who can lead, people who can mediate, people who are team players, people who quiet chaos. In short, people who help.

 

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