Funeral Archives • Page 3 of 8 • Blog | Sytsema Funeral & Cremation Services

What is a Green Funeral?

The term “green funeral” refers to ceremony, service, and body disposition that focuses on preservation of the earth. Many of those who live “green” also wish to end “green”. Just as living green is carried out in different ways and with many choices, there are also many different methods of having a green funeral. Your funeral director is your best guide to the green funeral options available in your geographic area.

For one person living green may mean passing on the offer of a plastic straw. For others, green may mean living off the grid and bicycling to work. One can be all in, or just a little green. Funerals can also be greenish or very green.

Sometimes a green living choice comes with a cost savings and sometimes going green costs more. For example, you’ll use less fuel with a hybrid automobile. Using less gas will generate a cost savings. However, you will usually pay more for a hybrid car than for the same make and model that is not hybrid. Green is not about saving dollars—it is a lifestyle. A belief system motivated by a sense of responsibility for our home, the planet earth. It is a choice.

If you are motivated to pursue a green goodbye, you will be pleased to know that your choice will not require that you give up any of the healing aspects of a funeral service. Service, gathering, and viewing the body can all be included in a green funeral.

Funeral directors have access to environmentally friendly embalming chemicals. If your family prefers to have the body present for the funeral service that can be accomplished. Should a private family viewing be more in line with your green funeral plans, the body can be simply prepared without embalming to make that experience possible for family members.

Green cemeteries or green areas in traditional cemeteries usually do not require a burial vault or grave liner. The body is shrouded and placed directly in the earth or placed in a biodegradable container which is buried. Those who opt for a green burial do so because disruption to the earth is minimized. No harsh chemicals from embalming, no treated wood or metal casket and no metals or concrete from a grave liner are introduced in the grave space. If you remember our hybrid car example something similar occurs with green burials. In most cemeteries a green burial space will cost more than a traditional burial space, but you will not incur the cost of the vault.

For those who prefer cremation you will need to know that all cremators (the device where cremation takes place) are not created equal. Newer models tend to have a smaller carbon footprint. Ask your funeral director which providers in your area are the most environmentally friendly.

There are also many different green options when it comes to the final resting place for cremated remains. Cremated remains can be incorporated into objects that become family heirlooms, or, they can become part of an underwater reef. There is a nearly unlimited number of earth-friendly alternatives of what to do with cremated remains. When making funeral arrangements tell your funeral director that green is important to you and ask for help in finding service providers that support your values.

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What Is the Purpose of the Register Book?

There are a lot of little things that make a funeral special. And one thing that you’ll find at most funerals is a register book. Although it might feel strange to “sign in” to a funeral, register books serve multiple, essential functions. So, what exactly is the purpose of a register book?

What is a register book?

A register book goes by many names, including a funeral guest book or a funeral memorial book. Whatever you call it, it’s a book where funeral attendees can write their names and contact information, as well as stories about the decedent and well wishes for their loved ones. It’s typically placed near the funeral home’s entrance to allow attendees to sign it while they’re about to enter or on their way out.

Why should you use a register book?

When we think of a guest book, weddings usually come to mind. Wedding guests are typically asked to sign into a book where they give their name and often sweet sentiments for the happy couple. Later on, the couple uses that book to send out thank you notes. It also functions as a souvenir for a day that tends to go by very quickly, allowing the couple to read loving messages from guests they didn’t get to spend a lot of time with because they had so many other people to entertain.

Although a funeral and a wedding feel like two very different occasions, they share many similarities. One is celebrating a new life being forged by two people and another is celebrating a life already lived. Both days are often very overwhelming. There are so many people who are there to see you, talk to you, and comfort you. It’s not uncommon for either of those days to go by in a blur. You’ll likely not remember every person you spoke to or every kind word they said to you.

Register books give you a memento from the day of the funeral. You might wonder why you’d want to have those memories from such a difficult day, but afterward, you may find that keepsake gives you comfort. It reminds you of how loved the person you lost was and how many people came out to see them and pay their respects. It’s a comfort to know that your loved one’s memory lives on in all the people who adored them.

But beyond simply seeing the names of the people who came out to say goodbye, the book also contains a treasure trove of stories. Some you may have known, but many others unlock portions of your loved one’s life that you might not have even been aware of. A register book helps paint a picture of who the decedent was, from stories from childhood friends about what they were like as a kid to tales from coworkers and colleagues.

Do you have to use a register book?

No funeral home is going to require you to use a register book. But while you might not have to use one, you should consider carefully if you want to skip having one at your loved one’s funeral. You only get one opportunity to collect those stories and create that keepsake. At the end of the funeral, you may regret not having one as you struggle to remember all the faces that came out to support you, all the kind words that were said, and all the stories you were told.

You may also consider that you want to send out thank you cards to those who came to the funeral. Although this is also not a requirement, it’s a thoughtful way to reach back out to those who reached out to you. You may not know every person your loved one did personally, so you might not already have the contact information for every person at the funeral. A register book would help you collect that information so that you know where to send the card.

Having a register book at your loved one’s funeral may not be something that you’re required to have, but having that token to remember the event and all the people who loved your loved one is priceless. Beyond simply the names of those guests, you’ll have stories that keep their memory alive forever: an eternal comfort and a way to always feel close to the one you love and lost.

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Burial Vault: What’s the Point?

Historically speaking, burial vaults were conceived as a means of protection from grave robbers. They were designed and intended to make it difficult to get into the coffin and remove valuables or even the body itself from the grave. Early vaults were made of wood and were called a “rough box” because they were rustic and unfinished in comparison to the more finely finished coffin.

In the late 1800s grave liners were in common use. These were made of brick on site at the cemetery. Bricks were fashioned right in the grave literally lining the grave space. Over time the concept of protection expanded to include protection from the elements. Family members became interested in protecting the casket or coffin from water, critters, and decomposition in general. Many families today consider “how” they care for a deceased family member to be a reflection of their love for that person and point of family pride.

When burial is selected as the final disposition of the body the deceased is most often placed in a casket. The difference between a coffin and a casket is the shape. A coffin is six-sided, it is wider toward the top third to accommodate the shoulders of the body and tapers to the foot. More commonly used in the U.S. is the rectangularly shaped casket. Caskets are most often made of wood or metal.

Wood caskets can be made of any species of wood and may be finished with ornate carving or may be very simple. The easiest way to understand the difference in cost of wooden caskets is to apply what you know about furniture. Solid mahogany will cost more than a veneer of pine. Many caskets are also made of metal. Carbon steel, stainless steel, copper, or bronze are all used. The cost and durability of a metal casket is directly related to the material from which the casket is made.

Burial in a cemetery usually requires an outer burial container. A grave liner or a vault is almost universally required by every cemetery to protect the casket and the integrity of the grave space from the weight of the earth and the heavy equipment that will pass over the grave in order to provide routine maintenance of the property. Grave liners are no longer constructed on site and made of bricks. They are most often made of concrete. Grave liners do not seal. A vault can be made of concrete or fiberglass, with or without a metal liner. Vaults will have a seal.

At this point you may be thinking, “who cares?” Well that is the thing, many people do care, and they care deeply. Others do not. This is the reason why the trip to the casket selection space at the funeral home and the process of helping a family make a choice that fits their values and budget is sensitive. Open communication regarding values and budget is essential. Funeral directors are there to help, answer questions, and explain differences. They educate and the family chooses.

So, what is the point of the vault? The point will vary from one family to the next. For some the point will be to satisfy the cemetery requirement as frugally as possible. For others the point will be to protect the integrity of the grave as much as possible. It is a matter of personal choice.

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Should I Go to the Funeral?

Why should you attend a funeral? The presence of family and friends at the funeral is appreciated. We gather to acknowledge a life that was lived. We gather to comfort those for whom life has just been forever changed by the death of someone they loved.

If you care for one or more of the survivors, you should attend the funeral (even if you did not know the person who died). Your friend will appreciate your presence. Being there shows that you acknowledge that your friend’s life has changed in some way. Your presence shows your support.

If you knew the person who died but do not know their family, you should attend the funeral. Your presence demonstrates your respect for human life in general and the life of the person who died in particular. Perhaps you worked with the person who died. It is comforting for the surviving family to know the person they loved was also appreciated at work.

If you are hesitating because you are unfamiliar with the person’s faith and fear you will embarrass yourself or feel like a fish out of water, go anyway. You will be fine. You can prepare a little in advance by looking for some information online about the funeral customs of the family’s faith.

When should you stay home? Anytime you are going to a funeral and you know it will make one or more members of the immediate family uncomfortable, perhaps you shouldn’t go. If going is more about you and less about the deceased or the surviving family, don’t go. A funeral is not a place to prove a point.

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When Where You Live is Not Where You Want to be Buried

Sometimes people make something appear so simple and effortless that we forget how complex the task really is. We begin to undervalue its accomplishment.

If you’ve ever taught a child or a grandchild to tie a shoelace you know what I mean. Once you’ve got it, and have been doing it for a while, you can literally tie a shoe with your eyes closed. But when you try to break it down for your little one into all the steps that are required to make that bow, it clearly is quite complex.

Many aspects of funeral service fall into the category of “it seems pretty simple.” It’s understandable that we may begin to question the value. The funeral home makes it seem so easy the layperson has no idea what is really involved in pulling off the task.

For example, when a dream to retire to someplace warmer, or prettier, or more exotic is realized and a family member dies away from where they planned to be buried, there is a lot to consider. There is also a lot to be done. Luckily the funeral home can help.

The first step is to call the funeral home. The funeral home that is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You know that building that is always clean and company ready, with the yard mowed, flowers fresh, and carpets swept. Call them. They will transfer your loved one into their care. The funeral directors will take care of the deceased. They will wash the body, dress the body, and prepare the body for final farewells.

When the designated family members have gathered in the warmer, prettier place they will need to meet with a local funeral director. There are decisions to make and people to consider. What about all the new friends that were made in the new home? Will there be a service for them? Is there a second spouse? Does that person have connections and a support system at the “back home” burial community? Who will receive the body when it arrives home? Will there be a service at a church, a funeral home, or at the graveside? This is when the funeral director will take care of you. The funeral director will guide you through these decisions helping you make sure all those left behind experience their loss with the most comfort and support possible. The funeral director will take care of the living as well as the deceased.

Once all the logistical decisions have been made and various events scheduled, the funeral director will again focus on care of the deceased. The funeral home staff will need to make sure death certificates are applied for, all the regulations and paperwork concerning transporting a body are met. The body will then be prepared for the journey home.

It’s not as easy as it looks. There is value in having the help of funeral professionals at a time when you and your family are tired, sad, and maybe not thinking so straight.