Funeral Service Archives • Page 2 of 8 • Blog | Sytsema Funeral & Cremation Services

Is Go Fund Me the Best Way to Pay for a Funeral?

Funerals are a way for people to celebrate the lives of their loved ones, but these celebrations often have a price tag that can be very high for the average family. A funeral with a viewing and a burial can cost upwards of $7,000. And when you consider that many families are also attempting to pay off additional expenses, like medical costs, after their loved one passes, they can quickly struggle under the weight of their financial burden. It’s no wonder why so many families turn to GoFundMe to ask for help covering all the costs, but is there a better way to pay for a funeral?

Should you use GoFundMe to pay for a funeral?

When GoFundMe launched in 2010, it changed how everything from novel inventions to wedding ceremonies were funded. It’s likely that at some point in your life, someone you know has used GoFundMe, and maybe you’ve donated through it yourself. GoFundMe has also changed the way that we pay for funeral expenses.

In most cases, a decedent’s family will pay for the funeral and disposition of their loved one. With GoFundMe, more of the burden is relieved from the immediate family. Suddenly, people you didn’t even know your loved one knew are donating through GoFundMe. Students of a teacher they haven’t seen in years want to donate. Coworkers from companies your loved one hasn’t worked at in decades decide to contribute. Neighbors, friends, and even friends of friends want to help in any way that they can. GoFundMe can be a wonderful resource that just goes to show how many lives your loved one has touched throughout their life. But although GoFundMe has proven to be a valuable resource for many families attempting to pay for funerals on their own, the best way to pay for a funeral is to pay into the costs before they happen.

Is there a better way to pay for a funeral?

Although it can be unpleasant to think about a time when you’ll no longer be around, planning for your funeral is a gift to your loved ones. And that includes planning for the expenses that come with a funeral and disposition. Although many people believe that having life insurance is enough, life insurance often doesn’t end up covering the total cost of a funeral, which can lead to your family paying out of pocket for funeral expenses later on. But there are other ways to pay toward your funeral.

One option is to talk to your chosen funeral home about planning and paying for your funeral in advance. When you preplan your funeral, you can decide to pay for your plans in advance. You’ll work with the funeral home to make your arrangements, including what services you want to hold, whether you’d like to be buried or cremated, and what type of casket or urn you’d like. After you decide on all these details, you’ll be able to pay for them through the funeral home.

Funeral homes typically offer a variety of payment plans, including the option to pay for your funeral and disposition in full. By making these payments in advance, you’re saving your family from financial strain later on. When you pay in full, you’re guaranteeing that the funeral you plan is the one that your family will be able to hold for you. There will be no need for a GoFundMe after you pass because you already funded your funeral yourself.

GoFundMe has undoubtedly changed how we fund funerals, but the best way to pay for a funeral is always by planning ahead. As you plan your funeral, talk to your funeral director about your options for prepaying for your funeral and disposition. By paying for your funeral ahead of time, you’ll save your family from surprise expenses down the road. If you’re covering the cost of your funeral now, your family won’t need GoFundMe later.

If you’re looking to cover the costs of a funeral for a loved one who did not preplan or prepay, your funeral home may be able to help. Some funeral homes offer a crowdfunding service that functions similarly to GoFundMe. Before making a GoFundMe account, talk to your funeral home about what kinds of crowdfunding services they offer.

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What is an Ossuary?

Ossuaries are making a comeback as an alternative final resting place for cremated remains.

In ancient times as far back as c. 40 B.C.E. Ossuaries were popular among the Jewish population. An ossuary is a chest, box, building, well, cave or site made to serve as the final resting place of human skeletal remains. Historically ossuaries have been used in areas where burial space was scarce or in situations where large numbers of people died in a short time such as a plague or battle. The deceased would first be buried in a temporary gravesite and then after some years the skeletal remains would be removed and placed in an ossuary. An ossuary is a communal space where the bones of many people are entombed together often arranged in elaborate patterns. They were always sites of reverence and respect.

There are many historic ossuaries around the world that can be visited today. One of the most recent to be constructed is the Phnom Penh Memorial Stupa in Cambodia. Between 1975 and 1979 the Khmer Rouge killed 1.7 million people. Many of those people were buried in unceremonious mass graves. The Phnom Penh memorial stupa holds the remains of an estimated 10,000 people who were removed from the mass graves and moved to the memorial to provide a dignified final resting place.

Today’s ossuaries are very different in that they do not require exhumation and reburial of bones. Ossuaries today consist of an above ground tomb/marker and an underground vault. Cremated remains, usually contained in a soft material bag inscribed with the name, birth date, and death date of the deceased are dropped into the vault where they rest in community with others. These ossuaries are similar to the ancient in that more than one individual is entombed. They are communal and they hold bone albeit bone fragments produced as the result of the cremation process.

Ossuaries are found in a growing number of cemeteries. They provide a dignified final resting place for those who prefer to be cremated but are not comfortable with the impermanence of scattering. The ossuary space has a low environmental impact, costs less than burial, and gives the family the added benefit of knowing the one they loved rests in a place that will remain intact. Ossuaries provide a dignified final resting place for those who prefer cremation.

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Funeral Word Quiz

Find out how much you know about funeral service. Match the definition to the words below. See how well you do.

Definitions

1. A chemical process that uses a solution of 95% water and 5% potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide to reduce a body to components of liquid and bone. Bone fragments are retained so they can be dried and turned into a substance similar to cremated ashes.

2. A service, held without the body present, that commemorates the life of the deceased.

3. A speech usually delivered by a family member or close personal friend at funerals or memorials used to honor and pay respect to the deceased.

4. A permanent outside burial container which is sealed and affords protection to the casket.

5. A notice of a person’s death published in a newspaper; usually contains biographical details and information about funeral or memorial services.

6. The ceremony conducted immediately before the disposition of the dead human body, this service may or may not be faith based.

7. A trained and licensed individual who provides support to the bereaved during initial stages of their grief; arranges and directs funeral ceremonies; arranges for the removal of the deceased from the place of death; prepares the body according to the wishes of the survivors and requirements of the law; secures information for legal documents; files death certificates and other legal papers; assists survivors with filing claims for death benefits.

8. A memorial structure where inurned cremated remains are entombed.

9. A permanent outside burial container, generally consisting of a concrete box and a lid. It is not intended to provide any sealed protection to the casket.

10. The reduction of human remains by intense heat and flame to ash and bone fragments.

11. A person who serves as the leader of a funeral service; may be an ordained member of the clergy or a lay person who has received specialized training on rituals and funeral traditions.

12. A Funeral or Memorial Service where the focus is on all aspects of the life of the deceased; their work, family connections, hobbies and interests as well as their accomplishments. This type of service may or may not include a religious component.

WORDS

____ Memorial Services ____ Funeral Service ____ Celebration of Life

____ Vault ____ Grave Liner ____ Columbarium Niche

____ Funeral Celebrant ____ Funeral Director ____ Cremation ____ Eulogy

____ Obituary. ____Alkaline Hydrolysis

Bonus Question: To Put a smile on your face. What is it?

A BEER … A BIER… A BEAR

• Comes in black, brown, and even black and white. Weighs between 300 and 1400 pounds! Is fuzzy and sleeps all winter.
• A stand on which a casket is placed before burial.
• A fermented beverage served very cold—it just hits the spot on a hot day.

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Memorial Service – Does My Casket or Urn Need to Be Present?

A memorial service differs from a traditional funeral service in that it takes place after final disposition. Final disposition is either the cremation or burial of the deceased. So, the answer is no—neither the urn nor the casket need to be present at a memorial service. That said, in the case of a memorial service following cremation the urn may be present if that is the family’s desire.

Because a memorial service takes place after either burial or cremation have occurred, the urgency to put together a speedy service is removed. A memorial may take place days, weeks, or ever years after a death. This allows a family that is spread over a great distance with time to arrange for travel, time off work, return from overseas postings, or whatever would likely make it impossible for all to gather on short notice.

A memorial service also works well when a family prefers to be more creative in their farewell. The additional time supports the family’s efforts to arrange for music or food. It provides more time to gather photos, find appropriate readings, and find the perfect venue for the service.

A memorial service may be held just about anywhere. Many funeral homes have space designated for these services that includes audio visual equipment and, in some cases, catering and food service capabilities. Be sure to ask your funeral director for guidance and advice.

A memorial service may be faith based if the individual’s religion permits. Some religions require that disposition take place immediately after death, making memorial service the standard. Other denominations require the body be present for the religious part of the service, making a traditional funeral service a better fit. Again, your funeral director is well-versed in the religious traditions in your community and is an invaluable resource for putting together a service that supports your family’s faith base.

There are a few considerations that are best not overlooked when planning a memorial service. The amount of time between death and the memorial service can become protracted and that can create a burden for some family members. Be aware that many people have an acute need to gather with friends and family, talk about the person who died with others who loved them, cry in a safe place, and receive a much-needed hug. The memorial provides that opportunity and until it takes place, their pain is fresh; most people find a service helps put them on firm footing as they begin their grief journey. It is a good idea to check in with close family members and establish a timeline for the memorial service that takes everyone’s needs into consideration.

The second consideration is the “creativity” piece. When we have a traditional funeral service or a religious based funeral service there is a fairly clear roadmap. When that doesn’t fit for you, or your family, and you are not a creative group you need to speak up and ask your funeral director for help. Not every family has people who are comfortable with public speaking to deliver a eulogy or put together music or a photo slide show. Your funeral director is a resource, so feel free to ask for his or her help.

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Should we Have an Open Casket?

“I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket. So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.”

Many long-standing funeral practices, like viewing the deceased, are undervalued today. Perhaps we should think again? Maybe go slowly? Allow for individual family members to say goodbye in a way that is most meaningful to them.

There is a value to “seeing” the deceased. If you doubt that value think about what happens when there is a sudden, unexpected death. Body recovery is high on everyone’s list. Seeing is believing. Some family members may find an opportunity to see the deceased helpful. Some, like the woman who wrote the opening quote, may be surprised at the comfort the opportunity to see the person they love at peace brings.

The funeral director is there to guide you. Ask questions. How can we give my grandson an opportunity to see his grandfather? What if some family do not wish to see dad? Mom didn’t want an open casket but some of us would like an opportunity to see her one last time. What can we do?

Funeral directors are always willing and able to allow for individual family differences. A daughter who prefers not to view the body and grandson who would very much appreciate an opportunity for a face to face farewell. One need not exclude the other. Funeral directors have solutions. When you meet with yours, be open. Share your family’s needs and ask questions.