Sytsema Funeral Home, Author at Blog | Sytsema Funeral & Cremation Services

Funeral Home Near Me

Even if you live in a small town, you are likely to be presented with more than one choice when you google funeral home near me. The search will provide you with contact information, location, and perhaps a link to websites of the funeral homes near your immediate location. The search is a useful first step, but most people need more to help them decide which funeral home to use. The eight steps below should get you started on solid footing.

Check with family members to find out if your ill or deceased family member has a prearrangement on file with any one of the local funeral homes. If your family member has taken this step in advance, everything just got easier. You’ll not only know exactly who to call but you’ll also know just what needs to be done.

When there is no advance plan the first thing you will need to do is to pull together the decision makers. Who in the family is going to take the lead in making the funeral arrangements? Often, but not always, this will be the person who will be financially responsible. Who in the family has been the caregiver? Which family members have strong opinions about what should take place?

Bring your group together. Talk about what your family will expect or want in the funeral service. Is your family large or small? Was the deceased well known in the community? Does one funeral home stand out over another as being able to accommodate the number of people who will likely attend the funeral?

Which funeral home has your family worked with in the past? Have you been pleased with the services provided? When there is no history with a funeral provider in the community you may want to ask trusted friends or your clergy person for a recommendation.

Give some thought to what your family will want or need to support the service desired. In addition to knowing if there will be a burial or cremation or a service before or after either of these forms of disposition, you’ll want to think about space, specialized equipment such as screens, microphones, audio/visual, even parking can be a deciding factor in which local funeral home to use.

Once you have a general idea of what you want, you can begin to call the funeral providers you are considering. Tell the person who answers the phone your situation, “We have a family member in the last stages of life,” or “We have a family member who has just died.” Tell the person what you want to know. “We would like to _____. How will you help us with this if we decide to use your funeral home?” If cost will play a part your decision-making process, ask for information. The most useful information regarding cost is a price range rather than the least expensive. You and your family will have preferences. One family may value the vault over the casket. Funeral service is flexible in order to meet each individual family’s needs. Basing the decision of which funeral home to use on the cost of one aspect of the service may lead to lost opportunity and may not even be the most cost effective in the end.

Ask for a personal visit, schedule some time with a funeral director. Tour the facility. Ask for a general price list. Go over it with the funeral director, ask questions. You will be best equipped to decide which product and service options best suit your family when you have all the information you need.

Finally, take a deep breath. Allow yourselves enough time to get it right. Funerals are emotional. They leave lasting impressions. Be considerate of the people you love. A funeral that focuses on healing the hearts of those left behind brings families together.

www.sytsemafh.com

Why Plan your Funeral in Advance?

The strongest and most compelling recommendations for advance funeral planning come from those who have just buried a parent. The daughter who just worked with her four brothers to put together a funeral for their mother will be the first to tell you, “If you have not already done so, please plan your funeral.”

No matter how well siblings get along, making emotionally charged decisions together in a short time frame is hard. A funeral “pre-arrangement” is a gift, and it is easy to do. So, how do you begin?

Call the funeral home and ask to schedule a meeting with the advance planning specialist. Set aside about two hours for this meeting.

As you prepare for the meeting think about those you will leave behind. What will comfort them? How should the funeral service feel? Will Faith play a part? Does a “Life Celebration” feel attractive? Or will your family be best served by a little of each?

Prepare a list of questions. You needn’t know all the answers before you meet with the funeral professional. Your meeting is an opportunity to learn and explore the choices

that are available and find the option that will work best for those you love.

Think about who will be responsible for the cost of your funeral. If you were to die tomorrow who would cover the cost? Understand that planning in advance never means that you must pay the total funeral cost at the time you complete your plan.

Be sure to ask about payment options that are available through your funeral home. Often you will find the funeral home has access to financial products that allow a person to pay for their funeral over time while being covered for the total funeral amount should death occur before payment is complete. Be sure to ask your funeral professional how these plans work. You will no doubt be pleasantly surprised by both the affordability and the flexibility of funding your funeral plan.

Planning your funeral in advance does not shorten your life. It does make the remainder of your days feel a little lighter because you know you have provided clear direction for your family.

www.sytsemafh.com

When is it too late to have a funeral service?

The amount of time that has passed since the death should not be the deciding factor when considering scheduling a service of remembrance for someone you loved. Especially now, when so many people have been required to postpone or eliminate celebrating a loved one’s life because of the pandemic. Instead of time, let your feelings be the deciding factor.

Many people are feeling off-kilter, just not right, about not having a funeral service for a family member. A funeral, celebration of life, or memorial service does not provide “closure”, there is still grief, but it does provide a very important milestone. The service is a public acknowledgement of the loss of someone dear. It is a pivot point. It is that moment in time when those who are grieving change their focus from the cause of death to remembering the life that was lived and the love that was shared. When we do not hold that milestone event, when we are not able, we feel unbalanced. It’s as though we have left something important undone. That feeling is what should drive us to do something regardless of the number of days, weeks, months, or years. It’s never too late to remember and honor the relationship with a person you loved and lost.

So, what can you do? You can call your funeral director and ask for ideas or help with execution of the ideas you and your family are already considering. Perhaps, the eulogy, more than any other aspect of a funeral, memorial service, or life celebration, is a key point. Think about how and where you want to eulogize your loved one. You may choose an informal venue, a faith-based venue, a club the deceased belonged to, or a restaurant where they liked to break bread.

You may choose to schedule the remembrance service on the anniversary of the death. Or you may choose the deceased’s birthday, or her favorite holiday, or even a day when his favorite team has a big game scheduled.

Although there is nothing quite like an in-person gathering where folks can talk, cry, and hug each other, sometimes that just isn’t possible. If you find yourself feeling that something is missing, get creative. Find a way to share your memories. Write that eulogy, mail it, post it, or Zoom it. Share it with others who were close to the person who died.

www.sytsemafh.com

Leaving Something in the Casket

The practice of sending a deceased loved one off with objects from this earthly life is as old as mankind. Ancient Egyptians believed when a person died, they passed into “the afterlife.” Burial goods paralleled objects used in life because it was believed these same objects would be needed in the afterlife. Burial goods included food, drink, tools, make-up, jewelry, pots, gold, and the like.

Even though few people today believe anything placed in the casket will be used by the deceased in the afterlife the practice of placing objects in the casket is alive and well. Possibly it is because letting go of someone we love is so hard, we find comfort in sending something along with the deceased and keeping something that belonged to the deceased for ourselves.

Most casket manufacturers offer caskets that include a small compartment for mementos family members may want to place with their loved one. Many people like to put a personal note in the compartment. A note can allow mourners to express their emotions or to share a thank you or even to say they are sorry or to express forgiveness for a wrongdoing. Grandchildren often like to put a drawing or love note in the little drawer of the casket. Sometimes it is wedding rings or even a golf ball that are buried with the person who died. What goes into the casket is as varied and individual as the person who has died and the family that loved them.

When we humans lose a wife or husband, mother or father, son or daughter, brother or sister, or dear friend, a hole is created in our life. The space that person held in our life is empty. Still, the love we had for them is not gone. Grieving is difficult and lasts for a good while. Anything that eases the pain, even a little, is good and welcome. Sending something off with the loved one is one way we find comfort. Another is to keep something – a remembrance.

Funeral homes usually offer a wide range of funeral goods for this purpose. There are teddy bears made from a grandfather’s flannel shirt or a gold or silver thumb print that can be worn on a chain or on a bracelet. For those who are cremated there is a whole line of cremation jewelry. These pieces will typically hold a small portion of the ashes. All one need do is ask their funeral director what is available. The answer will most likely reveal a wide variety of comforting options.

www.sytsemafh.com

Cheap Funeral Homes

The thing about cheap funeral homes is the business model works for them and may not necessarily work for you. You, the person who has just lost someone you love. You, the person who needs the services of a funeral home.

Cheap funeral homes hang their hat on volume. They are playing the numbers. Lots of funerals, little service. The bar is low by design. The professional staff to funeral ratio is low. Fewer skilled people doing more funerals translates to less overhead for the funeral home and determines their profitability.

That can mean families have less time with the funeral director handling their family member’s service. It can mean less consistency. You may not be able to talk to the director you worked with yesterday, today. Fewer people doing more nearly always increases the risk for error. Many people need more help and guidance than they expected when they are tired and numb following the loss of someone dear. The kind of service, how do I write the obituary, how do I notify social security, how do I access my father’s veteran’s benefits, is often not a part of the service model for low-cost funeral providers.

Cheap funeral homes usually have bare bones facilities. The location may be in a light industrial or shopping area. The building may be more like a warehouse and less like a home. The atmosphere may be less comforting than what you and your family are accustomed to when you have worked with your local neighborhood funeral home in the past.

Cheap funeral homes tend to advertise a low-cost bare bones service. Often this service does not include what you expect from experiences you’ve had in the past. You may find things you expected to happen are not going to happen or can only be done at an additional cost. For example, the low advertised price may not include an opportunity for out-of-town family members to say a final good-bye.

As you move closer to what you wanted and expect in a traditional funeral you will move farther away from the low advertised price that first drew you in. By the time you get what you want, if you can get what you want, you may find you are spending more, not less, than you would have spent at your own hometown funeral home.

Before you decide on a funeral provider call your local hometown funeral home. Be up front and clear about your budgetary needs. Funerals leave lasting impressions; they can heal but they can also hurt. You only get one chance to get it right.