Blog | Sytsema Funeral & Cremation Services

Flowers and Funerals

What’s the story behind flowers at a funeral? Well, back in the day before funeral directors perfected the art and science of embalming, flowers were used to mask the odor of the body.

In modern times flowers are no longer needed to mask unpleasant odors but they have come to be a part of the funeral for other reasons. When we struggle to find words to comfort a friend, flowers speak eloquently for us. They express that we care. Flowers can be sent from any place in the world to any place in the world. When we are not able to go to the service, flowers stand in our stead. Flowers are always in good taste and they are appreciated for the beauty and serenity they bring to the occasion.

Did you know different flower colors have different meanings? White flowers symbolize honor and innocence. In many religions, death means going to heaven and a return to innocence. White lilies, carnations, roses, and cushion poms are often used in funeral arrangements.

Red flowers are frequently given by a spouse or close family member. Red blooms symbolize courage, strength, and love. The red tulip is a symbol of perfect love. Blue flowers such as hydrangea and cornflowers represent peace and serenity. Yellow flowers symbolize friendship and new beginnings.

Flowers for the casket are usually provided by close family members. Funeral flowers are sent directly to the funeral home and are not usually addressed to a particular family member, but rather are sent in honor of the deceased. It is appropriate to send smaller cut flowers or plants of remembrance to individual family members at their home.

Flowers help us communicate feelings of the heart. Flowers speak for us and say we love you, we support you, we are proud of you, and we are with you on your grief journey.

In recorded time, and probably before, communities have understood the importance of gathering following a death. Paying respects to the deceased and comforting the survivors has been a part of life. Coming together when an important life event occurs is just natural. We come to see the new baby and we gather when a loved one’s life on this earth ends. We celebrate and remember with flowers.

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What to Give Mom for Mother’s Day

What a word! What a concept! What a job! Mother can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adjective. The female parent of a child or children is a mother. A mother can be a leader of a religious group, or even a term used to designate an elder or senior woman. To mother is to nurture, to invent, to originate.

The word mother has many uses and meanings. Like the word, mothers are not all alike. Some are round and soft, others are straight and firm, some delight and some disappoint. Still, your mother is your mother at seven or seventy. The mother child relationship has staying power like no other. She is yours and you are hers, forever.

Mother’s Day is a time for showing your appreciation for all the effort your mom put into you. Taking care of you when you were sick, cleaning up after you, keeping your clothes clean and a million little things that helped get you to where you are today; So, what is the perfect Mother’s Day gift?

TIME.

For the mother of young children, it might be free time. An hour or an afternoon free from the responsibility of childcare. Time for a soak in the tub or to read a book.

For the mother of a teen it might be time in the form of a shared activity. It could be as simple as working on a puzzle together or watching a movie (no devices in hand) and a little conversation about the movie at the conclusion.

For the mother of an adult child it might be a lunch, FaceTime call or walk with her child. A few minutes or even a couple of hours of just you and your mom.

For the mother of an older child, if you are sixty that probably means mom is in her eighties, how about some time for help? Give advance notice and ask for a list of little jobs or things that are annoying you could fix. Has her computer stopped talking? Does the TV speak the wrong language or have annoying closed captions that just appeared on their own? Has there been an invasion of ants? Are there weeds? What needs time?

For the mother who lives far away take time to write a thank you note to your mom. What do you remember? What do you do now that you learned from her?

TIME, TIME, TIME, … just a little time is what most moms really want for Mother’s Day.

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Five “to dos” when you hit 70

Life from age 70 to 75 is interesting. It might not be a mid-life crisis but nearly everyone finds it is a period of real-life adjustments. In moving from being a 69-year-old to 70-year-old it’s easy to say, so what? Going in, 70 might feel like the new 50. Especially if a person is healthy and active. But by 75 it usually dawns on people that 80 is not going to be the new 60! It’s time to get real and embrace and prepare for life moving forward.

There are both some big questions to ponder and some little things to do to make life going forward easier. In the big category, a couple might consider where they are living. A simple thing like not having a first-floor bedroom or bath can mean a stay in a rehabilitation facility if a hip or knee needs to be replaced. By the time one hits the 75 mark they know more than a few folks who are walking around with replacement parts.

Then there is the question of whether your home is even in the “right” location? Some people choose to leave friends and their current life in favor of moving closer to their children or family. There is no one “right” choice—however, considering the what ifs can help a person be sure they are settled in their own personal happy place.

Much easier, but not less important, is making sure that you have designated someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are no longer able to do so yourself. Most folks will choose their spouse. However, it is a good idea to be sure the individual one chooses understands your desires and has the emotional strength to carry out your wishes. In some cases, it may be kinder to designate an adult child to make decisions. Regardless of who you choose, making sure all family members know what you want to have happen and who you have designated to carry out your wishes, can save a lot of family heartache in the future.

Even easier, but still important, is taking a few steps in order to eliminate those little stressors that can ruin an entire day. Making a simple adjustment to your utilities, cable, or telephone can be a real challenge if you are not the person “of record” on the account. If the designated person has died it can get even more complicated.

Check to be sure both spouses have the authority to make changes to the account or service. Be sure the secret passwords and answers to security questions are known to both parties. Watch your “ands” and “ors”. “And” can mean you both have to be involved where “or” means either party can take action. “And” can mean you’ll need a death certificate where “or” can mean full speed ahead.

Finally, it really is time to consider the end. When your children, grandchildren, and friends come together to remember you, what will that gathering look and feel like? Who will be in charge? Who will be responsible for making and paying for the arrangements? This one is the easiest of them all—you simply call your funeral home and ask for a prearrangement appointment. It will take just a few hours to get all your questions answered and have a plan on file at the funeral home. Then you just go right along heading to 80, eating right, exercising, and seeing the world, because maybe 80 is the new 60?

www.sytsemafh.com

Why do we have eggs and chocolate rabbits at Easter?

How did rabbits and colored eggs come to be associated with Easter, the most significant holy day of the year for Christians? To get the answer to that question one needs to go back in time. Imagine yourself on earth before digital, before refractory lenses, before watches. Go way back to when people watched nature to gain some understanding of what was to come.

Envision what it must have been like to watch the days become shorter and darker and not have any idea of what was happening or how long it would last. It’s easy to see how it would be possible to fear the sun was burning out! Then think about how elated people would be when they figured it out. When they observed, and began to record, repeating patterns… the Equinox and the Solstice.

The Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year and occurs in December. The summer solstice is the longest day of the year and occurs in June. The equinox also occurs twice a year. It occurs when the number of hours of daylight are equal to the number of hours of darkness. As you would expect, the Equinox is a predictor of what’s to come. In the Spring (hooray!) the cold will be coming to an end. Time to plant, fish, and hunt. In the Fall, the Autumn Equinox indicates the time to stock up. Salt the fish, and dry the meat, the cold days are coming.

In Roman times, before Christ, the Pagans (from the Latin, paganus meaning country dweller, villager, or hick) celebrated these natural repeating patterns in a big way. In the Spring the Equinox would be celebrated as a renewal of life. To the Pagans the egg was a symbol of the renewal of life. Eggs were presented to friends as gifts in celebration of Spring. Rabbits, baby chicks, and new fresh green grass were all signs of Spring and new beginnings.

That is what Easter, rabbits, and colored eggs have in common. The Spring Equinox! In 325 AD, at the Council of Nicaea, which was the first major church council, it was decided the celebration of Easter, the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, would be celebrated on the first Sunday following the first full moon after the Spring Equinox.

Since that time, the celebration of the resurrection of Christ has been in the Spring very near the Spring Equinox. As a part of celebrating the resurrection, we go to church, we color and gift eggs, we line baskets with grass, and we devour our chocolate rabbits.

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Losing a Spouse Three to Six months after loss

By now most of the big stuff is probably done. The thank you notes have been written and mailed. The marker or head stone has been placed or you’ve found a place for the urn. You’ve probably filed for the life insurance, and perhaps you’ve even begun to clean out his closet.

You may be wondering, what have I missed?

Have you changed the titles to the car?
Put the deed to the home in your name?
Have you changed the utilities and cable service into your name?
Is your medical power of attorney up to date?
Have you updated your estate plan or will?
Have you spoken to an accountant or tax expert about any tax consequences associated with gifts you have made or increased allocations from IRA or investments?

How about you? What are you doing to take care of you?

Are you up-to-date with your health and dental care?
Are you eating well?
Are you learning to cook or have you gotten someone to mow the lawn?
Have you had lunch or dinner with a friend?
Have you done something fun? A movie? Golf? A ballgame?

Scientists tell us there is a hand/mind connection. Doing things with our hands actually increases our sense of well-being. Even simple chores such as washing the dishes, preparing your meal, or even making your bed help to provide purpose and a natural routine. Why not step outside of your box and try something creative that you used to enjoy doing or have thought about trying? Don’t discount the value of a craft, woodworking or art project.

Finally, see people. Human contact is vital to your new normal. If your friends and family aren’t calling you, then call them. Look for a movie you would like to see, a museum you would like to visit, or a restaurant you would like to try and ask someone to join you.