Category: Veterans

Taps. There is nothing like the sound of those patriotic notes. It grabs your heart, it makes you cry. It honors the service and risk a man or woman took for our safety and the safety of our country.

Public law provides military burial benefits for all who served and were honorably discharged from any of the five branches of the U.S. Military. Your funeral director or advance funeral planner can explain all of the benefits you or your family members are eligible to receive. They will also access those benefits related to the funeral or burial on your behalf. Your funeral director can help you weave the remembrance of your loved one’s military service into the fabric of their full life experience.

Most who have served in any of the branches of our military, whether it be for a few years or as a career, will tell you the experience had a profound impact on their life.  Even when the service period was brief and at a tender age and followed by many years of some other vocation, that service should be honored.

The funeral professionals at your local funeral home have the resources and know how to help you get the remembrance just right. In addition to the playing of taps and flag ceremony provided by public law, there are caskets, vaults, and urns that highlight each branch of the armed services to be considered. Photos and music can also be a part of the funeral gathering or ceremony and can add so much to the remembrance.

How much or how little your family wishes to focus on the military service of a loved one is a matter of personal choice. With the assistance of your funeral director, a military service can be planned that finds the perfect balance for your family.

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Talking with a veteran of the more recent wars or conflicts such as Vietnam, Afghanistan, or Iraq can be intimidating. You may have a parent or spouse who served in Vietnam who has never shared anything about their experience with you. The Vietnam War was different from wars in the past in that the value of the war itself was questioned and many of those who served came home to a hostile public. It was not a hero’s welcome. Their story may have been bottled up all these years and time is running out for families to learn about their loved one’s experience.

Since the Vietnam War, a small percentage of the U.S. population has served in our armed forces. This means the Vietnam experience is not shared by the broader population and those who did not serve can’t possibly understand what war is like. Not understanding can make us uncomfortable about starting a conversation.  As a result, veterans can feel isolated while we remain unaware.

How can we push past our discomfort? How can we talk with these people we love and appreciate about a period in their life that was so very important to them? It can be tricky depending on how well you know the veteran. Below you will find some tips to aid your conversation with a veteran:

• During the discussion:
• Take your time, go slow
• Plan to LISTEN
• Listen without comment or judgment
• Listen to learn, not to tell.

• Below are some suggestions you can ask:
• Would be willing to talk with me about your experience?
• What service were you in?
• What inspired you to join?
• What does your service mean to you?
• Would you mind sharing what you are currently doing?

• Depending on how well you know the veteran, you may want to avoid so of the topics/questions below:
• Don’t ask if they killed anyone or saw any dead bodies.
• Don’t be surprised if they don’t want to talk.
• Don’t ask about PTSD.
• Don’t make it about you.
• Don’t think you know what it is like to go to war unless you have been to war.

It is always a good idea to do your homework and study the war prior to your discussion. And most of all, express your appreciation for their time and service.

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Three hundred and sixty five days a year, twenty-four hours a day, rain or shine, hot or cold, from the year 1776 to present day, they’re serving our country.  They are our veterans and November 11^th is the official day that we honor and thank them each year.

So what can you do to show your appreciation?  Here are a few ideas:

• Attend a parade or remembrance event held in your community
• Brush up on your patriotic etiquette
• Teach your children things such as when to stand for the American flag or what to do during the playing of our National Anthem
• Visit the gravesite of a veteran
• Hang a flag in your yard
• Support a veteran-owned business
• Hire a veteran or the spouse of a veteran
• Visit a veterans hospital
• Say thank you to a veteran and his or her family

Did you know you can even hold a “Care Package Party”? Here’s how:

• Invite friends to bring items for those serving away from home.
• You can contact the US Post Office for help with packaging supplies for military care packages. Some items you could send:

1. Foot care products
2. Cotton socks
3. Flavorings for water
4. iTunes gift card
5. Snacks
6. Hand written notes expressing your thanks

Everyone is busy and on Veteran’s Day we’ll be inundated with advertising. It will be easy to see November 11^th just as another great sale day…but it is so much more. Perhaps the most important thing you could do is ask a veteran you know to tell you about their experience and then listen. Just really listen.

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